Is it ok for a 4 year old not to be potty trained?

Is it ok for a 4 year old not to be potty trained?

Potty training usually happens for most kids between 18 months and 3 years. Within this time, parents are eager for their children to discontinue wearing diapers in preparation for preschool. So they are potty trained to cope well with the world outside their homes. It can be frustrating to have a 4 year old not potty trained. If you have done all you know and your 4-year-old still does not want to be potty trained, then it will be better to know the likely reasons for their inability to use the potty to understand how to help them.

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Reasons why a 4-year-old will refuse to be potty trained

1. Fear of the Toilet

Some kids may not use the potty because they fear the toilet. They may be startled by the loud sound it makes when flushed. Then when it is time to use their potty, they may express that same fear of the toilet towards it.

2. No interest

Your child may show little interest in using the potty. That lack of interest will make them not go to it when they need to ease themselves.

3. Too much pressure

Some kids may decline to do something when they face too much pressure. Your kid may feel that way concerning potty training because you are too hard on them to learn it.

4. They are not ready

All children do not develop abilities at the same pace. While some are willing to learn how to use the potty at the appropriate age, others don’t. Children ready to be potty trained are conscious of when they want to pass urine or poo and will patiently wait until they get to the potty before using it. However, when a child is not yet ready to use the potty, they will pass urine on their body before being aware of using the potty.

How to get a 4 year old to be potty trained 

  1. The first step to training your 4-year-old on using the potty is to introduce the idea of using it to them. You should gradually bring them to accept it rather than forcing them to use it. Please do this by talking with them about the need for the change. Talk about it several times a day to your child until they get familiar with the idea. If you have older kids, let them talk about how convenient it was for them, to the hearing of your 4-year-old, whenever they use the potty or toilet.
  1. To get your child to use the potty, search for kiddies’ stories that center on the topic, either from story books or the internet. A good example is Potty Train Your Dragon: How to Potty Train Your Dragon Who Is Scared to Poop. They may be in written form with graphic illustrations or in video formats. The idea is to give your child a visual understanding of what you expect them to do. That also removes any fear they have of the potty. 
  1. You should also ensure your child is ready to be potty trained before getting them to start using the potty. Look out for signs that show they are prepared, such as not soiling themselves for several hours at a stretch. You should also find out if they can follow simple instructions like letting their panties down before sitting on the potty. 
  1. Another step to encourage your 4 year old not potty trained is to set up a potty chair in the bathroom. Please encourage your child to sit on it regularly during the day. That will help them eliminate any fear and encourage them to get used to it. Check out the Fisher Price Fisher-price toddler toilet royal stepstool potty training seat with music and Fedicelly Potty Training Toilet Seat Boys Girls.
  1. Children are encouraged to be at their best when you reward them for good behavior. They are also happy when you tell them you are pleased with them. Offer your child some reward and sing their praises when they sit on the potty and use it. You don’t have to spend much on that; some candies will do.
  1. You must be patient and consistent with your 4 year old not potty trained during the learning process. This training takes time, and you must not give up on your child while at it. Stay positive and encourage them through it. If your child feels overwhelmed with the whole process, allow them to take a break for a few days before returning to practice. 


Your 4 year old not potty trained can start to use the potty if you take time to understand their fear and reluctance. Carefully handle their underlying reasons for the delay and practice the tips highlighted in this post. Above all, exercise great patience with your child and encourage them. They should be going to the bathroom by themselves in no distant time.

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